Bad Mouth Tacos

Please go take a look at my friend Jon's blog. His is kicking my ass with his W.A.S.P. anecdotes and witty racism. My favorite quote of the day which applies to my GTL post is..."Ooooo Ed Hardy, I curse the day you were born, although I'm glad your clothing exists for profiling purposes." Effing genius. GO LOOK AT IT NOW. and then FOLLOW BOTH OF US. bitches.

GTL anyone? YES always!

The anticipated return of your favorite greased up tan guidos and guidettes are back in action! Jersey Shore 2 Premiere is on MTV tonight at 8 pm Texas time. Watching these fist pumping knuckle heads is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine, but actually dressing like them is a NO NEVER except for a 281-er convention in the Woodlands or a Halloween party. Here are some interesting tid bits from [http://youmightbethatguy.wordpress.com/tag/guido/] and a little help from me.

You might be a guido if...
1. You drink Ed Hardy Beer / Wear Ed Hardy (or my addition is wear any clothing that looks like you have a tattoo that you're too scared to actually get)
2. You're in a bromance.
3. If you use the gel in your hair to grease down your body.
4. If you are tanner than a black person, but you have an Italian ma.
5. If you arms are so toned from constant raising of the fist and pumping it in the air up and down.
6. Last of all, you might be a guido If you have "a situation"

Yes Always to the show. No Never to the clothes (and the snooki bump it, too)

omFg. like BIGGEST NO NEVER.

BRIAN DOUCHEBAG H****N. To start out we had a great relationship in the beginning. We truly cared about each other. However, I should really "no never" myself just to be fair. and OH MY GOD, this came to me like DUHHHHHHHHH. Man, it is so easy to see things from an outer perspective than actually being in the mix. Dating Brian H****n was the biggest NO NEVER. If you've ever dated a mid-life 30 year old going on 17 you feel my pain. And on top of that he was a bartender. Real great career. I am not hating on bartenders what so ever! Actually, one might say bartenders are some of my best friends. Well at least the product they serve, is YUM YUM YUM. This product is my best friend, and it has led to some unbelievable nights. However, I am talking about the bartenders who think they are the coolest, conquer the world, i swear I'm going to go to college at some point, clique. These kinds of douchebags travel in packs. So ladies and easily persuaded guys watch out. They'll make you fall in love with their care-free lifestyle and then act like they're too cool to hang out with you....yes YOU! You with the college education and ambition to have a real career! pssshhhhaaaaa. Granted, we started dating after stacy passed away and he filled that void for like a month, but WTF was I thinking letting it go on for seven months?! He practically lived with me after month one and after quitting his CNC job. That should of been my first hint!

Things that should have told me our relationship was headed to doomstown:
-we met at Logans (the bar) two and a half years ago when he randomly shoved his tongue down my throat without an introduction
-quitting his job the second month we were dating, and he had so much money before, or at least enough to buy me drinks and get me sloshed, hmmmm insert rape hotline here (just kidding......pls dont email me if your an activist)
-getting an eviction notice on his apartment more than once, ooo and having his internet cut off
-I stayed in Austin after graduation and he freaked out bout the commitment
-After I moved into a new apt. he started disappearing for days at a time
-St. Patty's day is his favorite holiday of the year
-He TOLD me his girlfriends don't last past march...and when did we break up? end of march...
-AANNNNDDDD ladies and gents. He's a GINGER. 'nuff said.

I will say he was a good person at some points and I dont regret everything we did together, but it just turned ugly. So in conclusion, dating a 30 year old ginger bartender is a BIG NO NEVER.

Spoiler Alert: Sappy. The first and last.

Spring semester of 2009 my friends and I attended Maggie Mae's downtown. In this group was a close friend of ours Stacy Barnett. For some reason that night the crazy, toe-up, unfortunate looking people were out and about. You know how people are supposed to look more attractive the drunker you are? Well this night was quite the opposite. So in Stacy's lil high pitched tone of judgment and sarcasm she suggested we make a website posting pictures of "no never"s. Yes there are other websites out there that do the same, but this is all in good fun with a mix of posts about me and my friends life, food, fashion, design, and making fun of people. Stacy and I never got around to making this website. It is a week after the year anniversary of her death and I decided the grieving time is over and the celebration of her life begins. Hope yall like it and I can make you laugh a lil bit. miss ya stace and I hope I make you proud! Now for the fun stuff!